We joke about the Haters — you know, that “friend” who de-friended or unfollowed you on Facebook because she couldn’t stand any more stupid CrossFit acronyms cluttering up her newsfeed; the coworker who scurries past your office door because yesterday when he said “Good Morning” you started to demonstrate the banded good morning (in a skirt and heels) — but hey, you thought he’d asked. We know the Haters are out there, and we know we’re a bit nuts about our sport. It’s all good.
But what if you suspect… no, impossible! But just maybe… it hurts to say it!
What if your spouse is a Hater?
When I decided to join CrossFit, I asked my husband to sign up with me. Once upon a time, he had been serious about weightlifting, and I thought that CrossFit looked like the perfect blend of weights and cardio. I was pumped, but he just wasn’t interested. He was used to my “hobby-hopping” and most likely thought I’d try CrossFit for a few months before moving on to something else.
But I didn’t move on. What started out as a casual three-classes-a-week gym membership slowly evolved into an unlimited 5-6 classes a week obsession. I couldn’t help it. I could feel the changes in myself even before I could see them. I was becoming stronger and that strength was leading to better choices in nutrition, more confidence at work, and a lot of CrossFit talk at home.
One Saturday we were driving to the comic book store. I was mid-sentence when I noticed my husband was staring at me.
“What?” I asked.
“CrossFit. That’s all you ever talk about,” he said.
And I found it. I found the tiny rock.
I wish I could tell you that I was a total adult, that I listened calmly as he told me he was sick of hearing about CrossFit; how he didn’t care about the box (stupid name for a gym anyway); how heavy my thrusters were (stupid exercise anyway); or how my overhead squat sucked (why even do that?). I wish I could say that I acknowledged his feelings and understood his point of view.
I vowed never to mutter a word from the CrossFit dictionary again! I would quit and get fat and be depressed and it would serve him right!
But that didn’t happen. Even though we were at odds over CrossFit, I knew that ultimately he wanted me to be happy and healthy. I hadn’t considered that the changes I was making to myself were also affecting him. For the first time we weren’t on the same page. It was a bit scary standing alone, but wasn’t part of the process to move towards the fear?
So I tried to understand.