by HILARY WIEBE
Learning to Believe in Myself
So, as of writing this I have been doing CrossFit for a little over a year. Over that year, I’ve learned a lot about myself (which you will find out if you continue to stay tuned to the blog) and grown in strength and skills; but more importantly, I’ve grown in how much I believe in myself.
In fact, even though I’ve come a long way, just a couple weekends ago, I described myself to a friend and fellow CrossFitter, when talking about my non-athletic background and how I used to run, as “just a poser who does CrossFit.” Thankfully, she (and my roommate who overheard this) were quick to correct me.
Quick background: I’ve never been athletic or into sports. At all. Before CrossFit, I dabbled in running (I only realized once I started CrossFit how much I never actually liked running) and worked out at the gym, but only because I had to. Never something I looked forward to in the slightest. I always tell people that the last day of Grade 9 Gym was the happiest day of my life because I’d never have to do that again.
So, when I started CrossFit, I was terrified that I would feel like a loser and wouldn’t be able to do anything. If you’ve tried CrossFit, you know that nothing could be further from the truth, and that if you’ve found yourself a good gym, both athletes and coaches will be friendly and will help you scale anything to your level.
But I still felt like I didn’t belong. I wasn’t good enough. Everyone else was better than I was. I remember during my early months at CrossFit seeing top times on the whiteboard and thinking that I could never compete or belong with those seemingly elite athletes. I repeatedly downplayed my accomplishments and bought into my lie of telling myself that I was somehow in a lower class than everyone else.
Yet, at the same time, I was working harder and harder. I started staying after class to work on skills, taking advantage of one-on-one coaching sessions to work on weaknesses, and (without knowing it), getting stronger and stronger.